Alright here’s the deal. If you are anything like me you shop online… a lot. Hell I’d buy my groceries online if I could. In this day in age everyone shops online, but someone else is always making money off of your shopping desires. Why not change that? About a month ago I did an interview with a company here in Orlando that just started up a new website. It’s basically an online virtual mall that pays you to shop. Sounds bogus (which is why I didn’t post about this right away till I had time to check it out).
The idea is simple; they get a % of your total purchase from whatever store you shopped from as a kickback (Google makes billions of dollars a year from this type of affiliate marketing). Where this site differs from all others out there is that they give you a chunk of their cut.
It’s pretty cool, I’ve renewed my domain, bought some tires for my motorcycle online recently and I’ve seen some extra cash get deposited into my account because of it. It doesn’t cost you any more to shop this way, it only benefits you. So if you are one of those people like me who would rather just shop online to buy your plane tickets/movie tickets/Christmas gifts/car parts/purses… wait… I… don’t buy purses… *shifty eyes*
Give it a look it’s legit. Best of all it really pays off if you are big into social networking because you’ll get a kickback from every person who you refer as well. So if you are one of those people with 500 make believe friends on Facebook then you could possibly bank pretty well off this
Anywho if you want to get some money back for the shopping that you are already doing online great, check it out, if not cool beans. Here’s the link http://www.monkeyjar.com/registration/invitationApplication.cfm?referrer=3405 Do me a favor though. If you decide to sign up and try it out please be sure to use that link to join my troop.
shoot me an e-mail or give me a call if you need any help setting up your own personal mall. ilblissli@gmail.com 407-342-0216
found this and wanted to keep it around for later use...
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain ____________________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________ Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.
Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) :
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden GateBridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
on monday morning on my way to work i wrecked my motorcycle on I4. when i fell i hit my head and messed up my hands kind of good. my right hand swelled up 3x the normal size and is now a sickly green and purple. went to the doctor and got x-rays and nothing was broken so all in all i'm happy as i can be about crashing. all of my gear did exactly what it was supposed to.
i smacked my head pretty good but the helmet made it feel no worse than plopping down real fast on the bed at night from exhaustion. i was very pleased about that. my gloves could have been better, one of them ripped open and they didn't really pad my fall at all, just protected from road rash. reguardless my hands are not scrached up or anything so i'm happy about that. my jacket kept me from getting any road rash and protected my elbow from hitting hard on the street. the jacket doesn't even look like anything happened to it (i'm really thankful for that because the damn thing cost 600 bucks) my boots also did a good job, my left foot was smooshed between the ground and my exhaust pipe and i didn't feel a thing, i didn't get burned, and i'm very happy about that.
a few things got scratched on the bike and the shifter bent backwards but nothing that couldn't be cheaply fixed. i'll post pictures when i get home.
So I’m sitting here at work broken and dejected. I've come to the realization that I have reached the end of the internet and that there is nothing left out there for me.
I also would like to make note that I love my daughter to death and I think about her all the time. I dream about her getting older and doing all sorts of fantastic things and making me proud. Being a parent is so cool.
Sitting here tonight doing nothing I've had much time to think about random crap, and I’ve decided that I want to move. I want us to move to a really small quant town with only a few hundred people. I've always fancied the city life but you know what, living in the city isn't really that cool, it costs a fortune, crime is a problem, and you have to deal with bums and traffic. The suburbs where we currently live aren't much better. Still pretty expensive, commutes suck, and we have to deal with renters living all around us. Renters are the worst kind of people. Renters are usually shady gypsy type people who move from town to town avoiding collection agencies or their parole officers, so you wind up spending most of your time avoiding eye contact with them, and never getting to know your neighbors or knowing any sense of community. However, I think that a small town would solve all of these things that I hate. I want to be able to talk to my neighbors. I want a town that I can feel good about raising our kids in. I want a town that I can just walk to the market and pick up groceries, heck I would like a town that I can just walk down the street to go to work. I want to move.
Don’t say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I’ve been polite. If you say anything else – word one – I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming – as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
so my birthday is coming up soon (may 8th)... but to top that off... my baby girl is going to be born the very next day! what what?! i'm happy and excited and scared all to hell too. my life is about to change a lot *bites nails* it'll be nice to see jessi back to normal again too. she's so miserable with this child stuck in her, i don't want her to be in pain anymore. i had to sell the miata due to the fact that the cops frown on sticking wives or kids in the trunk of your car. i got a mazdaspeed 3. it's pretty cool. i'm back to playing poker again and doing well. i keep finding myself quitting for a while to do something else and then starting up again and wondering why the hell i stopped. in other news, i'm hungry.
Wow, ok I haven't updated this with any real content for a while. I’m too lazy to go back and see what I’ve already written about so you may get some information you already know.
Lets see... first off Jessi and I are getting married sometime soon, real soon. We were thinking Feb. 3rd but possibly sooner. We went and got our marriage license yesterday (woot). We aren't doing anything big, we're just going to make it legal for now and do a bigger shindig later. I found myself ok with this at first, and then it started to bother me once I started thinking about not having wedding pictures to go with all of the other generations of wedding pictures in my parent’s house and not having any for my kid/s. But then as quickly as it bothered me it just stopped bothering me again and I’m fine with the idea of doing something later.
Jessi and I are looking for houses. We went for our first house tour a few days ago. Fairly exciting but very stressful stuff. We’ll probably go see some more this weekend. Depending on if we find a really good deal that meets all of our needs we may push that wedding date forward to get a better loan.
Lastly there is the matter of Jessi being pregnant. We found out yesterday that its going to be a girl. How scary is that?! I have no idea what to do with a little girl or how to relate to them and it makes me so scared that I won't be a good dad. Anywho no matter how scared I am I’m equally as excited. Never thought I could love anyone or anything as much as I do Jessi but she needs to watch out cause there's a new princess in town lol.
"It's time for the Annual Day of the Ninja. Forget 'Talk Like a Pirate' Day. This will truly be our chance to show the world what ninja are made of.
As last year (and every year from now on), December 5th is the Day of the Ninja. Plague your co-workers with ninja-ness and wear a ninja mask to work! Got the day off? Run wild in the streets, or dress like a ninja at the mall! Just show the world that YOU ARE NINJA!
I also want you to help me take over the Internet on that day. LiveJournal posts about ninja. Ninja links on all your websites. Photos of yourself wearing ninja outfits. Whatever. Go Ninja crazy.
*sigh* it's a sad day in aviation history. Today the USA Navy retired one of the greatest aircraft ever created; the F14 tomcat. Not because it couldn't hold its own against the newer more modern jets, but because they are no longer able to produce replacement parts for it and they have pretty much cannibalized all the parts off of decommissioned tomcats.
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m the type of person who won't believe it till he sees it. They would know that I’m a believer of science and that no one is going to pull the wool over my eyes... not even god. Many people who know me think that I am an atheist. But I’m not. I’m not even close. I may take place in debates on the subject regularly; I may even always side with the atheist points of view and point out the logic behind them as undeniable facts. But the truth is, it is all bull. Sure I may argue for the atheist views but I simply can't believe them anymore.
There was a time in my life that I was very confused and wasn't sure one way or the other on matters of faith. I was a boy brought up catholic and then educated to the contrary in school. How was I supposed to know what was truth, what was real, and what to believe? Fact of the matter is, no one knows at that age. But there comes a time in everyone’s life... a turning point. The point at which you are forced to realize the obviousness of your beliefs. Is there a God or isn't there?
My turning point was so simple yet so powerful. Love. The moment my lips first touched Jessi's and I looked into her eyes I had found my personal heaven. There is nothing scientific in this world that can make me feel the way i do when I am with her. It is as if god knew that I was struggling and sent her to me at just the right time to save me from myself. she is my angel and she has truly changed me for the better.
i woke up today and my car had 2 nice new dents in it. that shit pissed me off
had a really long day out at sea world, came home and go to log into my world of warcraft account... only to find out that it has been hijacked and my account has been stolen. i can not log into my wow account, i can't get the password till 9am on the west coast. i want to stab someone in the face... hard
jessi was over here this morning and we did christmas. i got all the stuff i wanted and i am happy. i was really excited to give jessi her stuff. she got everything she asked for too so i hope she is happy. now i'm waiting to go to my uncles house to do my family christmas stuff. that will be boring for sure.
i've got all my christmas shopping done, and everything is wrapped. i drove to work with the top down this morning and now i'm sitting here with a nice mug of hot chocolate. things are so great between me and jessi and i'm incredably happy.
so last night at midnight i started standing in line for an x box. it was 40 degrees outside and there were 30mph winds (it was like a freaking hurricane it was crazy!). Anywho, there wasn't really anything to do but shiver so i decided that i would run to the store real quick and get some sleeping pills. i got a little packet of sleeping pills and a yoohoo, drank them both down and figured my worries would be over and i'd wake up when the waiting was over with. wrong, it was so cold out and i was shivering so violently that i could not fall asleep at all. I did however get this crazy feeling of being drunk as hell.
once the sun started to come up the people started showing up to the store to get in line for an Xbox. this was about the time that the grogginess wore off. the circuit city that i was standing in line at only had 19 Xboxes for sale and there had been 19 people in line since 2am (i was number 10), so we had fun telling people to leave in inventive ways.
Then out of nowhere this wannabe thug black kid from the bad neighborhood across the street comes over and stands in front of the line of course all the guys standing in line are white geeks and don't say anything so i say "yo, you here for the Xbox?" and he says "yea" I then point to the back of the line and say "well then, back of the bus". He doesn't like this so he offers the 3rd person in line 20 dollars to skip in line. The guy of course declines. Then the 'thug' threatens the 3rd man in row saying that he was just going to take his spot and that he'd better shut up if he didn't want to get cut. The third man in line is carrying a glock as he is an ex cop (he told us this as we were shooting the shit for 8 hours). the ex cop says "i'm not the person you want to be making threats to" then the tug goes off in Ebonics saying stuff about how "hard" he was. He finishes his little rant saying "you couldn't take me".
At this point all the geeks are scared, but i decide to add fuel to the fire so i stand up and say "lets say you could take him... do you think you could take 19 of us?". This motivates all the geeks to suddenly have courage and stand up stick their chests out and agree with me. The thug shuts up. The manager comes out 2 hours later to start giving us tickets to hand to the person who will be handing out the x boxes. the thug trys to get one but the manager had already been tipped off by one of the ninja geeks (i don't know when or how this could have happened but it did). The thug got all upset again took out his wad of drug money and waved it around and called us punk bitches. So i took out my check card and waved it around and said "i have a fucking bank account you monkey". he rolled his eyes and then went home.
after all that we were finally let inside. my entire body hurt down to the bone. the cold had penetrated me and the thawing out process was unbearable. when i finally got home i wound up taking off my jacket and sweatshirt jacket because once you get inside from being that cold for 10 hours a warm house feels like an oven. naturally i had my keys and phone in my jacket pocket as i'm known to do and i missed a couple of calls from jessi. she got all pissed and took it as if i was personally trying to ruin her day or something.
At any rate, I have an Xbox but no games because I preordered them and they are being shipped, jessi is mad at me, and i'm now getting sick for sure (my throat hurts) so i'm sure that the rest of my vacation will be just peachy :(
Last night was a lot of fun. Me, Jessi, my brother, and my cousin all went down to the local drag strip. Although my car is not really designed for drag racing it was still really fun just to go out there and do it. My times were slower than I expected but I was happy to see how much they could improve. My first run was pretty bad because I was nervous and the second run I messed up shifting twice but still knocked a half of a second off my previous time. We only got two runs in unfortunately. I really like going to the strip because it contains 2 of my 3 favorite smells; race fuel and burnout smell (burnout smell seems to smell different than actually lighting rubber on fire... it's odd) my other favorite smell (new car smell) was probably there somewhere but I didn't go searching for it. Damn I’m weird... It was also fun to talk shit to my brother and cousin. We used to all do everything together all the time. Play videogames and talk shit, play paintball and talk shit, light each other on fire and talk shit, zap each other with sun guns and talk shit, get drunk and talk shit, and go to the track and talk shit. As of late we've all been too busy with our lives to get together and talk shit so it was nice to be able to do that again.
To top the night off me and Jessi screwed on the hood of my car. Good times good times.
xbox day in 2 days 12 hours and 42 min. weeeeee!!!!
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